The Blue Hour
The wonders of working on a night shift is the sight of the blue hour on my way to work. I wish I could pull over and capture a few shots. But alas... I don't have a decent camera and I am carpooling! :(
Saturday, January 28
Tuesday, January 3
Lack Understanding
music: Athlete - Half LightWhen my family visited grandpa the other day, he asked what I have been up to during the holiday. I wouldn't lie. So I honestly replied that I've been watching tv and playing the computer most of the days. By playing, I actually mean doing something useful on the computer such as post-editing my digital photos and coding website. But most adults never care to listen to my explanation. To them, computer is equivalent to computer games. Then he asked if I have been going out with my friends. I said yes but he didn't quite hear it and added "You still don't have friends at school"? I was deeply hurt by that. A few years back, mom said to grandpa that I don't hang out much with my friends. It is true but it's not like I don't hang out AT ALL. I just don't go out frequently. We hang out probably once in two weeks and that is fine with me. When I'm free, I prefer attending to my hobbies at home. That's probably why mom said that because she always sees me at home. But she never tries to understand me. I'm not like others who enjoy being in the company of others. She can't stop comparing me to other kids and I'm always made to look like a loner. I'm not. I have a best friend and some friends. I probably don't have thirty friends but I do know at least thirty people. These are people you don't really call as friends but sometimes you send them short messages and says hi when you meet them. My parents never know about this. How would they? After all, when I tell them about the happenings in my life, they are only half listening. The next day, they vaguely remember anything. So sometimes when they want to chip in a conversation, they simply say things that are half untrue of me. Whatever they tell about me is only their perception of me. Sounds odd considering they are my parents. But they don't understand me. They only know me as the person they see at home. They don't know about me outside or in school. They don't know the progress I made outside our home. Sometime at age 17, I just stop trying to communicate with them. What is the point when they never want to listen to me. After my grandpa said those words, my mom supported that statement by agreeing with him. I can't believe mom did that. For the past two weeks, I've gone out three times with my friends. Twice for movies and once for canoeing and pizza. And mom knew that I went out. I wonder what do these adults expect of me? I should be hanging out with my friends everyday during the holiday? At least I don't take drugs or alcohols or smokes or get involved in gang crimes. I was so hurt I didn't want to say anything after that. I will let them think what they want to think of me. I don't care anymore. After all, my parents never care about what is going through my life.
