Friday, August 26
A Prize Giving Ceremony
music: Switchfoot - The Beautiful Letdown
The sky is really beautiful for the past few days. Puffy, fluffy cumulonimbus clouds dotting the clear blue sky. Perfect day for wide angle photos. It's unfortunate that I don't have the camera with me nor the lens. Grandpa is still keeping his 17mm lens with him. I have to go to the hotel in the afternoon for a prize giving rehearsal which is to be held tomorrow. After paying $50 for the dinner at the hotel, I'm on the losing end. The prize for the top result in a particular subject would be... a certificate and $30 I presume? Just like every other year. Which means I'm paying an extra $20 to receive my prize. I don't expect the food to be spectacular because it never is, like the two Graduation functions I attended which I had to fork out $60 each time. But yeah, I should be thinking positive. Tomorrow, I'll be eating other than my usual home-cooked food in a grand atmosphere while enjoying performances by various fellow students. Besides that, I get to shake the gabenor's hand when I receive my prize and catch a glimpse of a very prominent minister who once had her education in this school. There... :)
I got 4 cds for a very good price. I bought Telepopmusik, Feeder and Switchfoot. And the other cd (Westlife) is for dad.
Thursday, August 25
Left The Camera In A Foreign Place
music: Gwen Stefani - Cool
I intended to blog yesterday but I was left with no time after attending an insanely long 5 hours Chemistry class. I came home and there was a movie on tv by Showtime *winks* *winks* Yes, upon seeing the familar animation of the logo, I remisnice the times when I had to watch The L Word secretly ;) Anyway, the show revolves around a Jewish doctor who was brought on to the Auschwitz concentration camp where she volunteered to be a geneacologist at the camp to help her own people. It was a fantastic movie that truly stirs my emotion and
Christine Lahti (I remember her in Chicago Hope) played her character very well.
Anyhow, the day before... I went to the camera shop in town after telling mom that I'm going to a stationary store. The old man who worked there was unfriendly and unhelpful. I said that I have a camera that needed to be repaired but he just walked off when his dealer came in. He proceeded to a friendly chit chat with him. Then, I had to tell a lady there about my camera. Eventually, she asked that rude old man to take a look at my camera because he's responsible for servicing. I told him that the lens mount is broken and the metering system is not functional due to a problem with the av string INSIDE the camera. INSIDE dammit. Can't be seen, can't be detected unless you test it. After reiterating that, he tested by viewing through the viewfinder with the lens cap still on! Wow... It's really time for him to retire considering his deteriorating state of mentality. He wrote a receipt for me. I looked at what he wrote at the instructions part and it says: "
View finder losse, lens mount losse..." Uhh? I am speechless. I'm glad that he's sending the camera to a technician to take a look at.. not himself.
The Konica Minolta Maxxum 5D looks promising. Great features for a retail price of USD$799. I cannot be sure if that includes a lens. It was recently announced sometime in July and I don't think it's widely available yet. My grandfather's film slr is a Minolta as well. Owning another Minolta probably gives a sense of tradition. However, the cons of owning a system other than Canon or Nikon may be the lack of accessories in the market. When you are extremely tight on budget and will still be for the next 4 years to come (being a student), extensive research is a must to reap the most value out of what you spend for.
Monday, August 22
A Heavy Burden Called Secret
music: The Decemberists - The Engine Driver
I have to lie to my mom in order to get to town tomorrow. I can't believe that I have to do this at some point in my life. I'm sorry mom. But I just can't tell her about what I'm doing in town. Two months ago, I
broke grandfather's camera. Things like this always happen to me. Something which I care about very much always fail me. I tried fixing it by myself to no avail. My last resort is the
camera shop in town that my dad brought me to visit. I made a call today and the person who answered told me that they do service cameras. I pray hard that they can repair my grandfather's camera which he has used for decades as a photographer to support his family then.
I wish I could tell this to somebody who cares to listen and understand before jumping to conclusion. But there is nobody I know who concerns enough about what I am going through. I know that the camera means a lot and has a high sentimental value to grandpa. So does it to me. I was terribly heart broken during that month when I couldn't use the camera anymore. If mom or dad knew about this, they would have no more faith in me. For years my grandfather has used this camera and it was still in good condition when it reached me. Meanwhile, I don't even need half a year to break the lens mount and detach the av string. My parents would never try to understand this before blaming me. That I feel sad about this too and that I don't want them thinking that I'm not capable of doing something right. I admit that I made a clumsy move and I broke it. It's not intentional. They would probably never allow me to embark on any new hobbies after knowing this. I'm positive that they will stop my plan to purchase a dSLR too. So, I can't turn to mom or dad or friends. Just therapist or God but I don't see any of the former and I still can't accept the latter. Only you, only you... Blogger.
Saturday, August 20
Disciplinary Action
music: Stereophonics - Dakota
We were severely punished, verbally, for doing something which is considered disgusting and unethical in the eyes of our teacher. Taking bites of food in class is an immoral act? We do admit that it violates the school law. Yes, we broke the school rules. But to the point of accusing us of being immoral and telling us that she is disgusted with this is absolutely absurd. How could a teacher think of her students like we are criminals who had committed heinous crime of rape. As anticipated, I was called to stand up to explain the situation.
I didn't manage to regain my composure and I was fucking scared at that time that I stuttered in my first few sentences. The stuttering was because I almost broke down in tears and my voice was going to betray me. I've never been confrontational with a teacher or a person with a higher authority. I was scared shit. I didn't know how to respond and everything that came out of my mouth was incoherent. She made me repeat three times what I had said because she couldn't hear me. But my classmates were confident that she did that merely to hear these words "We admit that we are wrong for doing..." again and again. It was humiliating...my response was equivalent to that of a 7 year old. Then, I paused and thought, why should I give a fuck about being afraid? I'm only dealing with an irritated teacher, not a soldier at the Abu detention camp who threatens to drag me into a torture chamber. I came up with another reason, regardless of whether it will satisfy her request for an explaination or not.
Besides me, she made the class assistant and a Prefect to answer. They didn't utter a sentence, thinking that it would be better to shut up. But the lack of response only reignites her anger. Ms. Prefect said something. Angry Vicious Teacher shot her down. Angry Vicious Teacher couldn't and wouldn't accept any of the reasons we had given her. The Notorious Class defeated.
For 1 hour and 10 minutes, we endure bitter long hours of silence doing homeworks while she brings up the issue from time to time. While my classmates can relax afterwards but I am the corrupted class president who joins in the rule breaking fun and has to report to the teacher on a daily basis. Cheers to me and the tough days underlying in front of me.
Our Chemistry teacher has no qualms about us eating in class. In fact, she goes the extra mile by staying in class with us while we ate so that we could pretend that we were having lessons. Meanwhile, this teacher keeps the issue afloat, refusing to let it go. Alright, alright...dammit...we get it. You've done your part by scolding us about irresponsibility and disrespecting school law. Why can't she turn a blind eye instead of threatening to report this exaggerated matter to the discipline teacher?
We are not small children who listen, absorb and take in everything that is said. We have a mind of our own as well as our own reasoning. We will retaliate if we find it uncomprehendable or unacceptable. She can scold all she wants yet we might not be sorry. In case she hasn't notice, we are standing on the land of a developing nation, in the 21st Century, getting bombarded daily through the media and the internet about free speech and individual rights. Using anger against us, is a wrong approach at this stage because we are not afraid to argue what we think is right. To make us understand and accept a point, we would appreciate it if a softer approach is used instead of resorting to harsh insults.
Bloody Rabbit
I dot the tissue with my blood. Come on baby why don't you bleed like me?
Friday, August 12
Cleanathon Day on Hazy Day?
I'm skipping school tomorrow. Yay! Just to catch
Justice League on tv :) Damn the Cleanathon Day...we shouldn't be at school on a Saturday anyway. But it's a replacement for the day that the school closed to hold an interstate sporting event. Besides, it is getting hazy here as well. The haze situation is at its worst state in KL and it seems that we might be affected too in matter of days. It may appear that the northern states might be spared from this environmental disaster due to the direction of the wind during this period. Never throw caution into the wind. This morning started out beautifully and I was about to hike up the hill to take pictures. In all of a sudden without warning, I smell smoke and I look out the window staring at a hazy landscape. I believe the air quality is still under control and it is not as critical as in some regions of KL which hit an API reading of 500, prompting a declaration for a
State of Emergency. As I said, only time tells whether we living in the North will be affected. It is night time and I still smell the unmistakable acrid smoke I'm too familiar with.
Tuesday, August 9
Two Frustrations
Frustration 1:
I just don't have the leadership qualities. I am dissapointed with myself and frustrated that I am incapable of fulfilling my responsibilities. Everyone should just shout it in my face, "You're demoted!".
Frustration 2:
When I was selected to be in the pilot project held by Intel called PC Pal, I was ecstatic. It has a history of 10 years in the US but it is the first time to be done here. The selected student will be the mentee to the mentor who is an employee in Intel who has volunteered for this community work. The mentor and mentee would then correspond through e-mails. I should stand a better chance to be paired up with a mentor who is in the field which I can relate to, either engineering or computer science. Compared to the others who are taking Biology in favour of Physics and aspire to become doctor, they might find it harder to discuss with their mentors concerning their careers. Unfortunately, I was paired up with a mentor who majors in business and holds the position of a finance manager at Intel. After submitting a detailed form carrying informations such as ambition and possible future career, they did not pair me with a suitable mentor. SS, who wants to become a biologist was eventually paired up with a programmer. If we could only switch.
Third Watch returns to regular showing on every Tuesday night. Coincidently, Desperate Housewives airs half an hour earlier. That means I could only watch half an hour worth of Third Watch. T__T Meh...DVD recorder anybody?
Friday, August 5
Month of the Hungry Ghosts
My life is rolling downhill like swiss cheese. I mess up big time. I wanted to skip class today. So, yesterday night before I went to bed, I took a few spoonfuls of cocoa powder hoping to be feverish the next day. It didn't work. Went to school anyway. Today wasn't that bad because those assholes didn't come. In fact, 8 people didn't turn up. Some teachers didn't want to teach a class of 13 students. Bad omen perhaps.
Today marks the first day of the 7th month of the lunar New Year according to the Chinese calendar. The gates of hell are opened to free the hungry ghosts who wander to seek food on Earth. On the first and last day as well as the middle of the 7th month, the Chinese are expected to burn fake money notes, or known as "hell notes" and other items of value which are made of paper. It is believed that the items will reach their ancestors from the other side of the world. I remember when I was little, I used to run over to the field across my grandparents' home where there was usually an opera show in such time of the year. The opera shows are held to please or entertain the wondering ghosts. Now it's hard to come across any opera show. It is slowly being replaced by modern show that bears skimpily clothed ladies who sing and dance to modern upbeat songs. During my childhood times, I was easily fascinated by the opera actors' heavy make-up and their costume. Would love to see that again if there's an opportunity.
